All I wanted
by Noelle26
Summary: Bella and Edward try to repair their marriage after an affair almost tore them apart. What happens when they keep the sex but leave out the rest? Will they grow closer or fall apart even more? B/E AH-OOC-TONS OF SMUT
1. Chapter 1 Post Blue

**Disclaimer**: I don't anything from Twilight.

_It's in the water baby, it's in your frequency  
It's in the water baby, it's between you and me_

"Post Blue" By Placebo

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**Bella**

We have been friends since we were fourteen.

We started to date when we were seventeen.

We got married when we were twenty-two.

And we were twenty-six when Edward slept with a woman that wasn't me.

_________

It's been four months since that happened. I can remember it so clear in my head but I wish I couldn't. It was an unwanted memory and I wish it would leave. It was a stormy Wednesday night, I had just got home from the book store that I worked at and I found Edward sitting on the sofa, holding his head with his own hands.

"_Hey, what's wrong?" I sat next to him. I tried to wrap my arm around him but he jumped up. I noticed he was crying which sent my heart beating so fast; I didn't know if it would ever slow down._

"_I need to tell you something." _

_I just looked at him, not wanting to say anything because I was scared to know what it was._

"_I...cheated on you last night." His words felt like knives being jammed into me. Over and over._

I remember the red mark on his face after I slapped him and told him to get the fuck away from me. I can still hear his sorry and the sound the front door made when he left and didn't come back for two weeks. I can still feel the way my heart broke, slowly and painfully. I thought breaking my arm when I was sixteen was the worst pain ever but this made it feel like a small cut. I cried until there was nothing left; then just went numb. I was broken.

I could never leave Edward. Even though I wanted to cut him out of my life, when it comes down to it I love him and I never want to be without him. He didn't want to leave either. He told every single day in those two weeks how much he loved, wanted, and needed me. I had never seen Edward beg before but I saw it fourteen times.

My family was the worse on him. My mom, Renee still calls him 'ungrateful asshole'. My dad, Charlie, is very cold to him and now, says Edward's name with a hint of hate. My brother, Emmett, still hasn't talked to Edward since he broke Edward's nose. What makes that even more worse is that Emmett and Edward were best friends. The only one that is really sweet to Edward is my step-mom, Taylor. God bless her. I found out later that she wants to hate him but since I'm still married to him and love him, she will understand and play nice.

Even though I took him back and I'm willing to love him for the rest of my life, I haven't forgiven him and he knows that. Edward hasn't tried to touch me in a loving or sexual way since then. Even though I missed how Edward would touch me, I was still bitter.

I was sitting on the sofa, reading a book when Edward came home from work. Before he cheated, I would jump up and give him a big kiss. Now I stayed on the sofa and let out a meaningless hey.

He sat down next to me as he sighed. In the corner of my eye, I could tell he was trying to talk to me but he would stop himself. What the fuck?

I sighed as I looked at him. "What's up, Edward?"

He ran his fingers through his hair then looked at me. "I...was wondering if you wanted to go out tonight. You know, dinner...maybe a movie." He sounded hopeful and nervous at the same time.

Part of me wanted to tell him no, make up some lie but for some reason, I said yes.

As I got ready, I let my mind play with an old memory. A good one...

_Edward wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer. He just took a shower so he was wet and smelled like his men's soap. I giggled as I rest on my hands on his chest._

"_I'm hungry, Edward" I smiled "Let's hurry up and get ready."_

_He started to kiss my neck "Hm...I would rather stay here and enjoy making my stunning wife moan my name." I blushed. I always did when he said things like that...._

"Hey, are you almost ready?" Edward's voice snapped me out of that thought. I just nodded then picked up my handbag. We didn't speak as we got into the car and drove off.

I couldn't help but to look at Edward. He looked good tonight. Yes, he was a very sexy, beautiful man but tonight is the first time in four months, I really noticed it. His hair was mess but I always loved it like that. He had a nice white dress shirt on and tight jeans. His ass jeans. After I bought those for him, I couldn't stop looking at his ass and even slapping it. It made his almost flat ass look good.

Edward pulled up at a nice French restaurant. I felt under dressed as I looked down at what I was wearing. It was a simple white sun dress. I sighed as I got out of the car. Edward met me by the passenger side door.

"You look stunning," He let his crooked smile which I loved being seen. I wanted to smile back and give him a big kiss but just looked at him "Thanks." Before I could walk away, he took my hand into his. His touch made my heart beat very fast. I hated it but I longed for it, too. "Let's go." I started to go as I held onto his hand.

To my surprise, the dinner was going good. I did my best to just have a nice time. I let my mind not think about our problems. Before we could get our food, a stunning red head came over to the table.

"Hello," she smiled "I'm going to be waiting on you both. The other waitress had to step out." I couldn't help but noticed she was looking at Edward the whole time, never looking at me. I started to get angry when I noticed he was smiling back at her. If he had never slept with another woman, I wouldn't second guess it but this made me do that. My finger tips started to tap on the table, over and over.

"She was nice." Edward commented then took a sip of his wine.

I rolled my eyes. I wasn't in my right mind, seeing another woman flirt with my husband made me crazy with anger. "I bet she would love to get into your pants tonight," I said bitterly.

Edward almost chocked on his wine "What?" His eyes were filled with confusion.

I didn't say anything, just started to drink my wine. I couldn't even eat my dinner because the second the waitress came over, she kept flirting with Edward. If I was actually playing attention, I would see that he was not flirting with her and wanted her to leave. I was just watching her with angry eyes.

"What's wrong, Bella?" Edward asked, concerned.

"Nothing...I want to go home." I rubbed my head.

"We are not finished...why don't we just finish dinner..."

"I will be in the car." I got up and left the restaurant. I knew I was acting like a child but I couldn't get pass it. I didn't trust Edward at all. I hated that so fucking much.

We didn't talk the whole way home. I could tell he was upset but I didn't dare bring it up. I hoped this would be forgotten but the second we got into the house, Edward slammed his keys down on coffee table.

"What the fuck was that?!" I jumped. "We were having a good time then you say that thing about the waitress...all down the fucking hill after that." I was almost shocked by the anger in his tone.

"I don't want to talk about it, Edward. I'm tired." I tried to walk to the bedroom but he took a hold on my arm. He wasn't hurting me but I could tell he was serious. I pulled away, giving up. "Fine! Let's talk."

"What was that back there, Bella?" His voice was calmer.

I rubbed my head "That slut was flirting with you."

"So she was hitting on me and that was worth ruining our good night out? Come on!" He threw his arms up in the air.

"Yes!" I yelled out loud "I didn't like how she was looking at you and I'm willing to bet you loved it!"

Edward's mouth dropped. He had a pained and shocked look in his eyes. "Why the fuck would I be loving it, Bella?! I wanted her to leave so I can spend more time alone with you!"

I let out a bitter laugh as I folded my arms across my chest. "Yeah, right." I hated fighting with Edward. I just wanted it to end but it was too late for that.

"Just say it, you don't trust me!"

"Of course, I don't trust you! I can never trust you again, Edward." I had tears in my eyes. I almost wished I didn't say it because I knew it would hurt him but it was the truth.

Edward stepped closer to me. He was breathing deep as his hands became fists. "Then why are you with me? If you can't trust me and never can then why are you even holding onto this?" His voice was lifeless. It scared me.

I didn't say anything, just looked at the ground. I knew the reason was because I love him but I couldn't say it. I could feel his eyes on him which put pressure on me. He almost said my name when I shouted out. "Because you are mine! You were mine the second I saw you...the second I kissed you!"

Without any warning, Edward crashed his lips into mine. After all of these months, I was finally really kissing him. It wasn't a peck on the lips or the cheek like we have shared in the past four mouths. It was a real kiss. I moved my lips with his as my fingers took a hold of his hair, pulling him closer. Edward pulled away which I let out a whimper to when he did.

"Say it again," he moaned "Please, Bella." I watched his lips as he talked. Beyond sexy...I wanted more.

"You...are mine." I moaned back. I forced my lips on Edward again.

"Fuck, I need you..." He pulled away, just to kiss me neck.

"Then take me NOW."

Edward picked me up so I could wrap my legs around his waist. Our lips never parted until he gently threw me on our bed. I got onto my knees then before he could make a move; I ripped his shirt open, buttons flying everywhere. My hands ran over his beautiful chest. He didn't waste anytime, and pulled off my dress. He groaned loudly as I ripped off my bra. His hands cupped them, gently playing. I moaned as his lips started to suck on one of my nipples.

"Edward...please..." I whimpered, I needed him now.

He pulled away from me to take off his pants and boxers. I fall backwards onto the bed. Edward fitted himself between my legs. The lust in his eyes was making me wet. He didn't give me any warning when he thrusted into me, hard. I didn't care though. I always loved it when he caught me by surprise.

We both moaned out loud after he was fully in me. The feeling was insane. He picked up the pace, never taking his eyes off of me. My finger nails started to leave marks on his back as I tried not to lose it. It was so close but too soon. I wanted it to last forever.

"So...close..." I moaned.

"Me too, baby." He went even faster as he dropped his head to kiss me. His tongue started to play with mine.

After a couple more seconds passed, I felt myself come hard. I cried out Edward's name as I throw my head back. I felt pure ecstasy run through my body as I tried to catch my breath. Edward lost it soon after mine. He was always beautiful when he came...

Edward fell down on the bed then pulled me into his arms. It didn't take long for me to remember why this had never happened in the four months. I was about to move away from him but he started to say something.

"I love you so much, Bella."

I didn't say anything, just closed my eyes.

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A/N - I hope you all enjoyed this. Please do leave reviews because it will make me write faster...Just trust me.


	2. Chapter 2 I get off

**Disclaimer**: I don't anything from Twilight.

_So much left unspoken. Between the two of us  
It's so much more exciting. To look when you can touch_

"I get off" By. Halestorm

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**Edward**

Bella and I were seventeen when we lost our virginity to each other. We couldn't keep straight faces while we got naked. When we started to have sex, Bella winced at the pain and I came within a couple minutes. It was awkward to say the least. Even though it was bad sex, I was thankful that Bella was my first. Of course after that, it kept getting better and better. Sex with Bella was mind-blowing every single time. Last night, topped the list.

Everyone asked me why I cheated. I never told them the full truth. _It was a mistake. It will never again. _Pretty much everyone let it go but my sister, Alice still asks why I did this to her best friend. It gets harder every single time not to tell her the truth. We had always been close but after this, we grew apart. Everything got so fucked after I cheated but after an amazing night with Bella, I started to feel hope that it would all be okay. Yes, the night didn't go as well as I wanted but after her saying _you are mine_ and the mind-blowing sex made up for it.

Bella laid naked on her stomach, gently breathing in and out. I gently ran my fingertips up and down her bare back. She giggled in her sleep. I knew she was tickles which put a smile on my face. I kissed her shoulder then got up from the bed. I took a quick shower and since Bella was still asleep when I got out, I went out to the kitchen. I started to make breakfast. Banana nut pancakes – Bella's favorite. As soon as I had a couple made, I heard her walk into the kitchen.

"That smells amazing," I smiled at her approval. "Can I help?"

I turned to face Bella then smiled "No, thank you, love." I tried to kiss her but she pulled away. That was confusing.

"I'm...going to take a shower." She seemed off which worried me.

"What's wrong, Bella?"

She sighed "...Nothing has changed. I just don't want you think this is all okay now." her words started to rip at my heart.

"So what was last night?" I turned back to the pancakes, flipping them. I didn't want her to see the pained look in my eyes.

"It was...just sex," I knew something about Bella way too well. She could fake a lot of things but lying was something she was not good at. The tone in her voice gave it all away.

"Thanks for feeding me that bullshit. It's a nice way to start the morning." I wasn't going to say anything else but I turned to face her before she could respond. "It wasn't just sex, Bella. You can keep telling herself that but that was so much more than sex."

"Okay, you are right, Edward. It was more than sex but just because we made love last night doesn't make our problems go away." She sighed again for the second time.

I turned back around and started to work on the pancakes. I didn't know what to say. Part of me felt like a fool for thinking it would be all okay after we made love. We didn't say anything for a long moment until I spoke as I faced her again. "So what we had last night won't happen again until we are okay?"

"That's the thing, Edward. I want..." She started to blush a little bit "the sex...I need to be that close to you. With nine years of always being able to touch you then going four months without...it was very, very hard." I agreed more than anything. "So what if we kept having sex while we keep working on our marriage?"

In my head, the deal was perfect. Of course, I wanted to have more than sex with Bella but in it's own way...things were getting better between us. I walked closer to her, about to kiss her but she stopped me.

"If we do this, there has to be a rule that you need to follow, okay?" She bit her lip after she was done talking.

"Okay..."

"We only kiss when we are making love. I know it doesn't make sense or it's stupid but please just follow it." Bella let out a deep breath.

I didn't like the rule. I didn't understand it. Should I question it? Should I put my foot down and say that I'm not okay with it? But did I really have a chose? I deserved a lot worse than this rule. I needed to get over it, be grateful for what I had. I walked closer to Bella, holding her face in my hands. She held her breath. I gently kissed her.

Bella pulled away quickly "Edward, it's one rule. Just follow it, okay?"

I smirked "Didn't you say we can only kiss when we have sex? Does it count before?"

Her eyes got big as she realized what I mean. She pulled my face closer to hers, kissing me like crazy. I picked her up then sat her down on the kitchen island. Bella was just wearing one of my over-sized shirts. I pulled it off to see she was bare naked. I let out a deep moan as I looked at her beautiful body. God, I could worship her for the rest of my life.

Bella's needy hands pulled my shirt off then tugged my pants down. She needed me in her as much as I needed it. I didn't even realize my boxers were down until Bella wrapped her hand around my already hard dick.

"Fuck...you are always so hard for me." Her voice was already tainted with lust. I kissed her roughly as my finger went down to her folds. My finger was dripping wet as I brought it up to my lips.

"And you are always so wet for me."

Our lips found each other as I thrusted into her, hard. We both moaned and groaned at the same time. I kissed her anytime I could, knowing I wouldn't be able to afterward. I kept pounding her as she gripped my shoulders. Bella's moans were becoming deeper which just drove me more mad with lust.

"Edward!" Bella cried out as she came. After seeing my beautiful wife come, it trigged mine. Only her name fell out of my mouth as I cried out.

Without any warning, Bella clung onto me. I held her tight as our bodies shook. I felt so close to her at this moment. I never wanted it to held. I could spend the rest of my life holding onto Bella. Pure bliss.

"Let's have breakfast together," I whispered against her neck. _Please say yes Please say yes Please say yes _I said over and over in my head.

Bella gently pulled away. "I told Alice I would come over. I shouldn't keep her waiting."

"Oh, come on...my sister can wait." I knew she couldn't and would probably call or come over if Bella didn't come but I wanted her to stay.

"Can you please save me some pancakes? Thank you." She kissed my check then hopped down. She went straight for the bedroom. Bella almost ran out with a fast 'bye' before she walked out of our house.

I sighed as I finished the pancakes.

I was off work from the office so I hung around the house. I worked at my father's company. It was boring job but seeing how I was the only son, I needed to do it. The day seemed to drag on and just watching the clock didn't help anything. I wanted...needed Bella home.

I was reading a magazine when there was a knock on the front door. To my surprise, Emmett was the one who knocked. The last time we saw each other was when he found out I cheated on his sister and he ended up breaking my nose. Now he avoids anything related to me. My best friend acted like I was a sickness.

"Hey,"

Emmett sighed "Is Bella here?"

I ran my hand through my hair "No, she is with my sister. You can hang out if-"

"Hang out?" He let out a dry laugh "I told my sister I wouldn't hit you. I never said I would hang out with you. " He turned around and started to walk away.

"So this is how it's going to be now, Emmett? We have been friends so long and now we can't even hang out?" I let out.

He turned around, angry. "What did I tell you when you and Bella started to date?!" Before I could say anything, he started to talk "I told you if you _ever _hurt my sister, I would kill you and since she stopped me from doing anything worse, you should be happy. You are the dick that hurt my sister, Edward. That's what you will always be." He walked off then got to his car, speeding off.

I punched the front door before I walked back in.

I'm a failure. _A fucking failure_.

It was after midnight and I started to get worried. Bella and Alice weren't answering their phones. I was about to leave to go to my sister's when they both came in. Bella smelled like booze and she couldn't stop giggling.

"What the fuck, Alice?" I growled.

Alice wasn't drunk which I was glad about. She rolled her eyes "Calm yourself, Eddie" I hated that fucking nickname she gave me "She wanted to have fun. She is my girl...I couldn't say no."

"Did you hear t-that Ed...ward" Bella hiccuped "I'm her girl...stop hating."

Alice laughed which I glared at her for that. "Well, I have to get going. Jasper is already worried. Bye-bye Bella and have fun, Eddie."

Bella stumbled away from the front door but before she made it too far, she held out her hand. "Let's have fun..."

Oh, fuck.

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**A/N** - Thank you so much for the reviews! ! If y'all want a flashback~ smut scene, make sure to leave reviews and tell me :D


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